We should be called the Road Head Warriors
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
