he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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