I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
She needs sedatives and a leash
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
