please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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