terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
