wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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