I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
