How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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