i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I booty called her while she was in labor.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
