i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
A bitchslap is in order.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
