OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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