We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
