the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
