that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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