just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
