The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
