I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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