Say something about gay babies.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
