if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
