I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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