i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize