if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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