Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
