Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize