So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Blow job season was short but glorious.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
