I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
