Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
