I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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