my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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