I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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