My first STD was from a foam party
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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