She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
