I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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