But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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