Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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