i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I wish you could order shots online.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
