Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
