Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
