In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
