Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize