I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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