Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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