you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
