if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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