Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
