Old men and throwing up are my life now.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
