please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
