Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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