Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize