But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
