i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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