Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
