I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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