She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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