what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
