it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
