physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Are my feet made of real feet?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
