Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
