I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
