I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
handjob tips. give me some.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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